31 December 2012 @ 11:59 pm
by who?
don't know who made the banner. please let me know if you know.

RL related stuff is friends only, rest is public.

New friends are more than welcome to my little world. Just a few words of who you are and how you find or just any word that the proof of you're not a ghost around would be awesome just before you add. Well, I probably won't add back, otherwise. You can go and say "HI!" right down here. I won't bite.. Promise. ♥

- Amazon Wish Lists -
Books | TV | Movie | Music

Moodthemes )
Current Mood: sympathetic
Current Music: Almora - Candle In The Night
31 December 2012 @ 11:58 pm
♥ Scrapbook 2012 ♥  

« SCRAPBOOK 2011 » )

Last edited: 30.01.2012
♥ EDIT ♥
18 March 2012 @ 02:14 am
Dreamers & Realists  
I don't watch Modern Family, [ profile] awakencordy does. She just shared this quote I lost myself in it, I just gotta save it here.

There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You’d think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not, the opposite is true.

You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun, and the realists… Well, without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground.
16 March 2012 @ 06:06 pm

There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
"I feel that this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong."
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What's right for you-just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.

- Shel Silverstein -
Tags: ,
Current Mood: thoughtful
12 March 2012 @ 06:54 pm
I will just start calling myself The Cat Whisperer.  
I gotta write this one.

When I got back from school, as always I was checking around the apartment if everything was fine with the cats. There was little cat food in my bag, so I poured it to their usual place.

All the cats around here used to me so much, they even take my orders. They know their usual places and getting into a line they wait for the food at the exact place everytime. So it was unusual when one of the best-natured cats was acting so aggressive and attacking every cat within 2 meters. I was patting and holding her back, but seriously I was like "what the fuck is happening here...?!"

Her usual area is 3 blocks away, so when I decided that I can't let her here like this, cause she was even attacking the smaller cats and even a hurt one, I took her in my arms and walked to her area. She was just so good with me, actually was happy in my arms, but even when there were other cats around me, she was hissing.

Still puzzled, I left her in her area, assuming she'd calm down after she got her sleep at least or something lol, turned back and started walking back home. Then I realized she was still coming with me, I stopped and looked, asked "what?!".. And she meowed me for the fucking first time. I had never heard her voice before and I've known her for 3 years. So, still puzzled, I turned back again towards her place, and after one more time meowing to me, starting walking. I got the cue, and walked along with her without having any clue what the hell was happening.

She took me to a corner place under the balconies, a different little place, behind a wire mesh, a weird place for sure, but I figured it's her place. I was there before, but never actually saw any cats there, only some kittens without their mother. Well yes, apparently the mother was always her. Now though, checking still I'm there, she got into the place, walking around and laid down somewhere protective. She was out of my reach, but I was able to see her clearly.

So I assumed I was done, she just showed me her place (why even?!), turned back again, going back home. When I was a block away, she was again with me. I'm not sure if it sounds weird to you, if you're around with cats or not, BUT BE SURE IT'S FUCKING WEIRD. I stopped, looked at her, asked "what" again, she meowed, and we took the same road again. She settled to the same place, and meowed to me.

I saw her stomach clenching, having a pang. Then I got it. STUPID AS FUCK. She was pregnant yeah, but it wasn't that big, so I was assuming she still had at least 2 weeks. DUDE. She was having her babies, and asking me to stay with her.

I watched her settle again, relaxing, looking at me. So yeah, I was thinking what the hell was happening, what the hell did she want from me, I started waiting. Cause;

1. She's not that MY cat, and she had plenty babies before that I actually was looking for a chance she wasn't pregnant so I could took her to my cousin for neutralizing but she was always pregnant or feeding her kittens SOMEWHERE I had no idea. So it was weird that she was even showing her safe place to me.
2. Mother cats never look for someone around, they actually get nervous with people and doesn't want anyone else while they're having their babies.

So. I waited there for 15 minutes in serious cold weather. Whenever I tried to move, she was up, looking at me. When I stop and settle watching again, she would turn and have her relaxed position. After 15 minutes though, since there was nothing I could do and it's going to take forever to give birth (probably all night), I moved WAY too silent and got away from there.

Now it's been an hour I'm home, but my mind is there. Because of their amazing instincts, this unusual behavior can mean her birth will go wrong and she'll need my help. I don't even know. I'm just out of thoughts, cause it's been 4-5 years I've been dealing with stray cats, and I've never lived something quite like this.

And I've been watching way too much Animal Planet lately, I will just start calling myself The Cat Whisperer. A-ha. Exactly.
Current Mood: surprised
10 March 2012 @ 05:56 pm
Meme: Color-facts.  
Saw it on Tumblr, and if anyone's interested, I'd like to do this meme.

Purple: 10 facts about my room.
Blue: 9 facts about my family.
Green: 8 facts about my body.
Yellow: 7 facts about my childhood.
Orange: 6 facts about my home town.
Red: 5 facts about my first bestfriend(s).
Pink: 4 facts about my parents.
White: 3 facts about my personality.
Grey: 2 facts about my favourite things.
Black: 1 fact about the person you like.

Pick a color. Shoot!

From [ profile] freaksoldier:

Orange: 6 facts about my home town. (Istanbul)

♥ Istanbul is the most crowded city of Turkey with the population of more than 22 million out of 74 million.
♥ Most people from Istanbul have love/hate relationship with the city. Many people runs away from the city's crowd/noise/dirtiness, but eventually everyone gets back.
♥ With the philosophy of "Live fast, die early." you can be really happy in Istanbul.
♥ Bosphorus. You never are too away from sea, so when you're any town without sea, it feels weird and claustrophobic. At least for me.
♥ Bosphorus also divides Asia and Europe, so only city in the world has lands on two continents, as far as I know.
♥ Since Ottoman sets out the city after Byzantines, and then modern days with Republic of Turkey, Istanbul has endless sources from history side. You can never get bored of the city.

White: 3 facts about my personality.

♥ I tend to have self distrust with my stand point generally (especially with people), but if I know I'm good at something specifically I may even have over trust and be a little smartass over it.... sometimes.
♥ I look for peace in everything. Trying to find the place in life where I can be happy in peace.
♥ I still haven't decided on if I'm antisocial or just plain lazy. (Probably lazy though. Just denying.)

Grey: 2 facts about my favourite things.

♥ Animals. I'm living closer to cats, but I am a serious animal lover. Any kind. I don't separate.
♥ Technology. Been living close with my technological devices for about 10 years. It frustrates people around me, generally. (NO1CURRS!)

From [ profile] beyondthepen:

Red: 5 facts about my first bestfriend(s).

♥ My first bestfriend was on 3rd grade. When she moved out, we've sent letters to each other for a couple of years, but of course we lost contact after a while.
♥ I met with my second bestfriend at the first day of middle school and we've lived for 4 years cohesively. Then she turned out to be a total bitch and betrayed me.
♥ I still have a connection with my high school bestfriend. But she left in 10th grade for her education in New York, so we've changed separately. But I love it we still have "it" when we talk we need each other.
♥ My last hope on bff page was the girl I kicked out of my life a couple of months ago.
♥ I'm a giver. So I give everything I can, until I give up from waiting to receive it back in my bilateral relationships. But at least finally, I gave up hoping I'll have a real bestfriend that can give her heart/mind/soul for me.

Blue: 9 facts about my family.

♥ Our family was from 5 people up until 5 years ago; dad, mom, me, brother, and grandmother (dad's mom). Then mom said grandmother will visit other brothers/sisters too, since she has 5 children and now she lives with us for 3-4 months in every year.
♥ Now we're still 5, with our cat, Bücür. She came when she was 2-month old, and now she's 6 year-old. Time passes.
♥ Dad had dogs and many cats in my grandma's house, bringing the hurt or little stray ones. Grandma always says he was a pain in the ass from animals' side.
♥ Dad is a serious reader. He can read every kind of book, just for reading, in a night or two.
♥ Mom was an accountant manager for more than 20 years. She's been always good with numbers.
♥ My biggest pet peeve is the relationship I have with my dad. Nowadays he's seriously trying though. I'm proud.
♥ My brother will be attending university entrance exams next year in these times, and he's preparing for art school. Drawing or sculpture it will be. As far as it seems though.
♥ I have a close relationship with my brother. He's growing and it's his tough teenage years but still most of the time we get along pretty well. I've realized just lately that I've been telling everything to him first. He's my strength.
♥ My parents raised me a little protective, and reasoned me to prefer staying at home instead of going out and that became my habit after a while. So this year they started pushing me out of the house for the first time. LOL ask me about confusing signals. *rolls her eyes*

From [ profile] geckoholic:

Yellow: 7 facts about my childhood.

♥ Until I was 10, we had my aunt's in the same building. Aunt was the eldest in family after my grandma, so everyone would come to us in holidays. So I've raised in a very crowded family, I can say. (I had 17 cousins, the last time I counted.) Probably this is also the reason why I just want nuclear family with one kid.
♥ I've grown away from dad until I was 15. He was a long-way driver between Europe-Turkey. So he's been at home once in every 15-20 days.
♥ I was always close to mom. She had many rules when I was little, but in my last year in high school, I felt things were changing. And after I won university, like everyone said it would be, we finally settled. Even though we have the ability to eat each other alive, just in 5 minutes.
♥ I've raised by so many women, mom, grandma, aunt, other aunt, big sister-cousin,...... THAT WAS THE REASON I WAS SO CONFUSED. lol. Thank God it changed.
♥ I was always successful at school. But also I was the "bitch" of middle and high school. Good that I've grown enough to pass the second one.
♥ When I was 4-5 year-old, I had wanted to be a dancer. Then teacher. Then volleyball player. Then architect. Then engineer. Then vet...... Aaaah, and finally, picked the worst: Business. *sigh* I ruined my life, period.
♥ All things aside, I had a happy childhood. Loving family and all.... Just that they didn't know any better, resulted me having the wrong turns in life. But I can't blame anyone. They just wanted me to have the best life possible. Not the happiest.
Tags: , ,
Current Mood: indifferent
Current Music: Sara Bareilles - The River (Live) | Powered by
03 March 2012 @ 02:51 pm
Current Mood: excited
01 March 2012 @ 11:47 pm
what power is...  
"I used to define power by age; respecting your elders and authority figures like police and teachers, people who kind of told you what to do. And I think it’s important to listen to that but now that’s kind of bullshit really. I kind of define power now by having the confidence to make your own decisions, to not be swayed by the people, and be brave and fearless to know that even if you do make the wrong decision, you’re making it for a good reason."

- Adele
Current Mood: thankful
11 February 2012 @ 12:43 am
LOL there is a TL;DR part at the end.  
. First thing's first.
. I passed 2 of my make up finals with really high grades. I'm proud. Oh, yes.
. Marketing Research keeps being a pain in my ass. Since I don't see this class as mandatory and I can't make myself love professor and go for her orders, I failed from the exam. I just.... ugh, I couldn't make myself properly study and I deserved it. (But see the other two high grades and know I'm actually capable of it. *sigh*) Damn, my stubbornness.
. Good part to that though, professor actually likes me better than I like her and she wanted me to have a project-ish thing to pass. She wanted to see my proof of understanding final's subjects as a paper and then she'll let me pass. I will deliver the paper on Monday, in the first class along with my other projects. It may be a first time someone actually studies a final after the final. *facepalm*
. I should shut my mouth though, right? She gave me a second chance eventually.

New Obsession
. Now last couple of month Christina Perri obsession settled in and I found a new one: Lana Del Ray. Exact way of my discovery started with this video [ profile] thelake shared yesterday:

After there I went and listened (and watched the amazing video of) Born To Die :

And well... Lately I'm all around Indie Pop, no regrets.

Reborn Obsession

Eeerr.... Might not safe for work. )

Thank you.

The Voice

You watch and make everyone and everyone's friends watch it. New season just started, just this week with 2 eps of "Blind Auditions". Best part of the whole season is this part. And there is nothing I enjoy much more than this show currently, tbh.


Listen Lana Del Rey if you like Indie Pop. Watch The Voice. And find me an full package of Adam Levine. Please, thank you.
Current Mood: sympathetic
10 February 2012 @ 10:08 pm
"Vision is the art of seeing things invisible." - Jonathan Swift  

"Vision is the art of seeing things invisible." - Jonathan Swift

One afternoon in 1989, Karen Overhill walks into psychiatrist Richard Baer’s office complaining of vague physical pains and depression. Odder still, she reveals that she’s suffering from a persistent memory problem. Routinely, she “loses” parts of her day, finding herself in places she doesn’t remember going to or being told about conversations she doesn’t remember having. Her problems are so pervasive that she often feels like an impersonator in her own life; she doesn’t recognize the people who call themselves her friends, and she can’t even remember being intimate with her own husband.

Baer recognizes that Karen is on the verge of suicide and, while trying various medications to keep her alive, attempts to discover the root cause of her strange complaints. It’s the work of months, and then years, to gain Karen’s trust and learn the true extent of the trauma buried in her past. What she eventually reveals is nearly beyond belief, a narrative of a childhood spent grappling with unimaginable horror. How has Karen survived with even a tenuous grasp on sanity?

Then Baer receives an envelope in the mail. It’s marked with Karen’s return address but contains a letter from a little girl who writes that she’s seven years old and lives inside of Karen. Soon Baer receives letters from others claiming to be parts of Karen. Under hypnosis, these alternate Karen personalities reveal themselves in shocking variety and with undeniable traits—both physical and psychological. One “alter” is a young boy filled with frightening aggression; another an adult male who considers himself Karen’s protector; and a third a sassy flirt who seeks dominance over the others. It’s only by compartmentalizing her pain, guilt, and fear in this fashion—by “switching time” with alternate selves as the situation warrants—that Karen has been able to function since childhood.

Realizing that his patient represents an extreme case of multiple personality disorder, Baer faces the daunting task of creating a therapy that will make Karen whole again. Somehow, in fact, he must gain the trust of each of Karen’s seventeen “alters” and convince them of the necessity of their own annihilation.

As powerful as Sybil or The Three Faces of Eve, Switching Time is the first complete account of such therapy to be told from the perspective of the treating physician, a stunningly devoted healer who worked selflessly for decades so that Karen could one day live as a single human being.

Highlight of my last couple of days. Since I've been back to reading, I didn't start a new one (I bought The Graveyard Book and Sherlock Holmes (complete set) last month.) but kept reading what I started last fucking year.

I had loved this book the minute I started, but it was too depressing at the first half and I couldn't make myself go after a point. (SEE: IT WAS DEPRESSING.) Seriously though, as much as Karen herself AMAZING, REMARKABLE, FLAWLESS, INSPIRING, UNIQUE, ETC PERSON, what she's been through was simply.... too much to even read at times.

I'm seriously amazed at one's mind. What a person is capable of. It's.... truly a miracle. Just read it yourself and fall in love with MPD all over. (Not the part what causes it though, ugh. Still disgusted enough. And sad.)

ETA: I will just add these quotes from Karen's current blod, so later I can find them.

Video of ABC Good Morning America interview with Dr.Baer

I’m not sure of all the nationalities of my alters, but I do know that Katherine was a school teacher and a nanny from England, Elise came from Hungary, Julie from Poland, Sidney was Australian, and Jensen was born African-American. ... The ages and names of my alters were created to fill a need at the time they were created. Most of the alters names came from relatives, television shows, and people I may have known. Holdon was an alter that used the phrase “Hold On” quite often, until one day he just became Holdon. Miles’ name came while traveling many miles to an aunt’s house. (source)

ETA: She also answered to my note to her ♥ "here" and if link is broken, here is my print screen view:
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Lana Del Ray - Oh Say Can You See
01 February 2012 @ 12:02 am
What snow does to a family..  
View of Istanbul from our window today and tonight;

I took that last photo just 15 min ago and it's getting even WORSE if it's really possible. There is a storm outside and I'm actually sad for homeless people and animals. It's cold.

Besides that, I couldn't help to 5 year-old living inside me and it happened like this:

Mom and dad were randomly watching TV. There was a stupid show and they were eating junk food head to head. Brother was hanging with his laptop, basically doing nothing. I was spending time in his room and wasn't studying when I actually should have but chatting randomly with my brother.

Then I got up, went to living room, opened the window, filled my hand full of snow, and turned to my dad and mom. Smirking, I basically threw everything in my hand towards them. It wasn't an actual snowball because snow was like cotton and scattering in my hands. But it started the play as my intention, hehehee.

At some point mom locked herself to bedroom, dad to bathroom, and brother to his bedroom. And I'm in the middle of the house, holding a snowball. *smirks* It went on for about 30 min.

ANNDDD NOOOOWWWW THEY DECIDED TO GO OUTSIDE. ALL TOGETHER. (ETA: It's midnight. No lie.) I said I got rid of that energy in me and now I'm okay but brother gave me 5 min to be ready lol. Well.. I can't say no to my brother, can I? :D *goes*
Current Mood: energetic
31 January 2012 @ 03:38 pm
This journey goes to my scrapbook.  
As most of you know, one of my closest friends is [ profile] awakencordy. She's a writer and I'm her beta beside a friend. But also, she's a lawyer alongside of being a writer. Hehe.

The other day she called me for a visit out of town for yesterday, she was going to look for a case in the court in that town. I said yeah, sure, since I literally nothing better to do, and also this is one of those rare times I meet her without a chat window connecting us. So, yeah, we took a snowstorm behind us and went to that town.

Since her storytelling is so much better than mine, if you wonder, I'll just leave you to her public entry:

Especially on our way back, it was getting colder and colder and darker. While we were waiting in the little town train station... I felt like I'm in a movie. It was a moment in time moment (as [ profile] awakencordy would say), yes, it was. There was snow, there was storm, there was a couple of complete different types of people (a businesswoman, a homeless, two middle-aged man, some random men talking to each other in silent).. It was also quite and dark, other than the wind's voice there was little voice. I loved it.

In the train, while lights are going off and on, I couldn't help but smile. I opened my book after a point (because well, it was a LONG way home back), but whenever lights went off that was a point I should look out and appreciate the beauty.

I love road trips. Any kind. I feel in peace. Like time gets frozen, and I stole that time to myself. ♥


Day continued at M's house. She's is [ profile] awakencordy's friend, and also her ex beta. By that she becomes my friend too :) Also we called other beta, H. We are completely a weird group, our writer got us together in the first place, and it's been 2,5 years for me even though I know her for 7-8 years. I love being a part of it. Also there was M's housemate, and we watched Sherlock 2x03 - The Reichenbach Fall and screamed and talked and shit. Then we went back to 1x01, we appreciated Moffat, and then went to bed.

A worthy day, it was.
Current Mood: peaceful
23 January 2012 @ 11:50 pm
Originally posted by [ profile] cantarina1 at post
Originally posted by [ profile] electricdruid at The fiasco continues

ACTA in a Nutshell –

What is ACTA?  ACTA is the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement. A new intellectual property enforcement treaty being negotiated by the United States, the European Community, Switzerland, and Japan, with Australia, the Republic of Korea, New Zealand, Mexico, Jordan, Morocco, Singapore, the United Arab Emirates, and Canada recently announcing that they will join in as well.

Why should you care about ACTA? Initial reports indicate that the treaty will have a very broad scope and will involve new tools targeting “Internet distribution and information technology.”

What is the goal of ACTA? Reportedly the goal is to create new legal standards of intellectual property enforcement, as well as increased international cooperation, an example of which would be an increase in information sharing between signatory countries’ law enforcement agencies.

Essential ACTA Resources

  • Read more about ACTA here: ACTA Fact Sheet
  • Read the authentic version of the ACTA text as of 15 April 2011, as finalized by participating countries here: ACTA Finalized Text
  • Follow the history of the treaty’s formation here: ACTA history
  • Read letters from U.S. Senator Ron Wyden wherein he challenges the constitutionality of ACTA: Letter 1 | Letter 2 | Read the Administration’s Response to Wyden’s First Letter here: Response
  • Watch a short informative video on ACTA: ACTA Video
  • Watch a lulzy video on ACTA: Lulzy Video

Say NO to ACTA. It is essential to spread awareness and get the word out on ACTA.

Via Tumblr

This entry was also posted at (comments: comment count unavailable)
23 January 2012 @ 05:49 pm
I'm the optimistic bird in your lives today..  
After a flist tour for 3 hours, here you go little by little :

1. It's been a while, and I'd like to update with new ones. Please fill in the blanks however you wish, I will put them on my profile. ♥

The _________ to my _________.

2. Stolen from [ profile] thefreshchuff.

Pick up the nearest book to you. Turn to page 45. The first sentence describes your sex life in 2012.

There was no power of recuperation left, no reserve strength to call upon.

=)))))) I snorted. JKJK. It also goes on as "It had been all used, the last least bit of it. Every muscle, every fiber, every cell, was tired, dead tired.

3. My fandom identification card.

4. I started reading books again. Yesterday night when I go to bed, I got the last book I started and left abondened AGES AGO; Switching Time. It's depressing as hell to read Karen's life, past and today, but I know there'll be a happy ending, so I'm holding on. Read about 10-20 pages, I didn't even check, as always I was lost in her life too much. And also being truly honest, I can say I feel more positive about my stupid problems since people live THOSE THINGS and can survive. What even self. Yes.

5. Today was like a scheduling day for myself. I made myself get up early for no reason, took a shower first, then exercised a little with the program called "Fitness Friend" on my BB I dowloaded ages ago just for the sake of exercising and poking my body because lately I felt more pain at my different parts for no reason, just because lack of action. (AND PLEASE IGNORE THE MIXTURE OF TIMING ON SHOWERING AND EXERCISING.) When I'm done with myself, ordered the house, did this and that dad asked for, then settled in front of my computer. Went to the previous entry my flist lets me and read each and every one of them since 10th of January, commented nicely if I had something to say. I'm a good fella today.

6. [ profile] thelake and [ profile] glenien asked me to joing their movie date on Wednesday at 6:30pm. We'll be watching The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, and here the moment I regret I haven't read the books in time. (IT'LL BE HAPPEN FOR HUNGER GAMES TOO. JUST SAYING. UGH.)

7. Now I can go and take pictures of my amazing room. I FORGOT DOING IT IN DAYLIGHT THOUGH. BOO. *HEADDESK*
Current Mood: optimistic
15 January 2012 @ 01:08 am
2011 ; in very short.  
I haven't getting around looking over my 2011, but this meme sums it all up I believe. Here you go ;

Rule: Cross of what you've done.

Gotten a new piercing.
Dyed my hair.
Ended a relationship.
Started a new relationship.
Been on a long car/bus journey. (Antalya :X)
Passed an exam. (Damn you, school.)
Met someone who’s now an important part of my life.
Cried on someone’s shoulder. (Needed, but no one was there.)
Had a massive fight with a boy/girl. (lol. Brother counts too?)
Recieved flowers.
Had a valentine.
Written a letter using pen & paper.
Gone to see a therapist.
Read a really good book.
Gone to the zoo.
Spent too much money on unnecessary things. (Jibcon, just saying.)
Travelled by train.
Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
Spent the day out in the sun getting a tan.
Slammed a door out of frustration. (Oh, yes.)
Had an anxiety attack. (Not exactly, but yes, it was closer than any other thing. *shudders*)
Babysat for a friend’s child.
Gone bowling. (With the cousins I don't even talk most of them atm.)
Seen a film at the cinema in 3D. (Wow, fail.)
Been the only sober one on a night out. (Ask me if I ever go a night out. Antisocialism ftw.)
Helped someone home after they had been drinking.
Stayed up all night. (just lol.)
Talked on the phone for over two hours.
Supported someone who’d received bad news. (like always. like a job. for my old bff.)
Watched some kind of live sporting event.
Read an entire book in one day.
Bought a DVD the day it was released.
Eaten McDonald’s more than four times in a single week.
Met some incredible new people. (I was lucky enough. :X)
Gone to great parties. (lol.)
Fallen backwards off a chair. (LOOOLL YES, OKAY!)
Broken my glasses.
Worn a watch for the first time in years.
Cried over someone in the past.
Spent hours aimlessly browsing the internet.
Cried over a film.
Thrown up. (Both from sickness, and nervous breakdown.)
Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-boy/girlfriend.
Fought with someone in public.
Been in a relationship for over a year.
Cried in front of someone I adore.
Lost one of my closest friends. (ugh.)
Tags: , ,
Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Pink - I Don't Believe You
12 January 2012 @ 03:29 am
The love that dare not speak its name..  
Charles Gill (prosecuting): What is "the love that dare not speak its name"?

Wilde: "The love that dare not speak its name" in this century is such a great affection of an elder for a younger man as there was between David and Jonathan, such as Plato made the very basis of his philosophy, and such as you find in the sonnets of Michelangelo and Shakespeare. It is that deep spiritual affection that is as pure as it is perfect. It dictates and pervades great works of art, like those of Shakespeare and Michelangelo, and those two letters of mine, such as they are. It is in this century misunderstood, so much misunderstood that it may be described as "the love that dare not speak its name," and on that account of it I am placed where I am now. It is beautiful, it is fine, it is the noblest form of affection. There is nothing unnatural about it. It is intellectual, and it repeatedly exists between an older and a younger man, when the older man has intellect, and the younger man has all the joy, hope and glamour of life before him. That it should be so, the world does not understand. The world mocks at it, and sometimes puts one in the pillory for it.

So it starts like this. I wondered how a 1997 movie can be this open about homosexuality and also the actors of the movie are well known today. I opened the movie Oscar Wilde so I can skip the boring parts and just satisfy my curiousity. I had no idea about Oscar Wilde's personal life before watching the movie, so it was a surprise when I get the point. After the first half of the movie, I started rarely skipping as I get more involved with Wilde himself. Just like this, nowadays I realize more as I look around more that it's a long way coming today's world.

After I'm done with the movie, I spent my last 1 hour reading about Oscar Wilde, Alfred "Bosie" Douglas and Robert "Robbie" Ross, their lives and related families, friends and such. It's really an interesting journey Wilde lived, and dragged people around him with him. But I believe he was fine. He had totally lived upon his emotions, once and for all, also like he said for "pleasure". I'm annoyed by Douglas' character though. Especially when I read about his life after Wilde, he turned against him and played on Ross. Well, it hurts after everything.

Also watching the movie as history makes it sharpen. Every detail in the movie seems like what's written in sources, so I recommend watching the movie itself first. It draws the line pretty well.

I wanted to hug Wilde at one point. I pouted when her wife came to visit him in prison and wanted to hold his hands myself.

....I supposed to be studying while doing this though. But I feel no regret, I learned much more interesting and educating stuff today.
Current Mood: curious
Current Music: Snow Patrol - The Symphony
11 January 2012 @ 01:03 am
Now that I've found it nothing can take that away.  
Most days I try my best to put on a brave face
But inside my bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while something's keeping me safe and alive
Kate Voegele - Sweet Silver Lining

Like always, always, even writing here made me feel better. Immediately some of you ran and tried to calm me, hug me. Sometimes all what matters is caring and I've lived it from the first hand here. Again.

I just appreciate it. So much. Usually I just come here, drop my bombs living inside, and disappear. A bad friend on that matter. But you're there anyway. Thank you. ♥ *hugs all*

Just wanted to put it out there. Here. It deserves to be said at least.
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Current Music: Kate Voegele - Sweet Silver Lining | Powered by
Current Mood: thankful
07 January 2012 @ 10:03 pm
Supernatural 7.11 - Anything to not study, tbh.  
I should have been studying but when I put the new episode on Torrentz, I assumed it would take 3 hours LIKE IT ALWAYS DOES. But instead, of course since I was going to study in that time span, it said "7 minutes left" immediately. Well... "Karma is a bitch" like one of my friends said. I should have done so many bad stuff to deserve this though.

Anyway. The road so far.. )

AND ALSO CAS, I MISS YOU SO FUCKING MUCHHHHH! Thanks to [ profile] awakencordy again, she did cut me into little pieces with her new fic about Cas. Ugh ugh. *sobbing forever*

Anything to not study, tbh.
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: Ross Copperman - Holding On and Letting Go
01 January 2012 @ 04:36 pm
Welcome 2012!  
Last night was one of our best new year nights as a family.

At some point grandma yelled from where she lies : "Who's drunk?"
All four people around Jenga on the floor: "MEEEEE!"

LOLOLOL. Also, dad and I finally are ~good. (As much as possible at the least.)

Hope you all had your fans! Have a nice weekend ♥ Be good 2012.
Current Mood: content
31 December 2011 @ 07:25 pm

My dearest friends, I wish you all a very better new year. Wish whatever you wish from 2012 would come trueeee! ♥

This is what is waiting for us tonight ;

We broke our pine tree just while we try to set it up, and then was too lazy to get a new one actually LOL. And came up with filling this basket with our gifts lolol. This is the most we managed to make in years btw. Me and my brother and my friends. This is all I'm saying ♥

Also there is a huge bottle of tequila along side with Millers and a bottle of red wine. Mom and dad have never actually drunk tequila before, and it's my favorite. LOL we will play Jenga with shots. Oh yes. Hopefully it'll be a fine and a fun night. *crosses fingers*

Again, happy new year and wish you all an awesome day however you wish! ♥
Current Mood: hopeful